Love is All You Need - Especially for Yourself!

One of my favorite authors is Louise Hay and I love her book You Can Heal Your Life which covers, among many other things, working on mental patterns, affirmations, and behaviors to live a better life. I especially love what she has to share about self-respect. In this day and age, we spend much of our lives dedicated to others and celebrating our love for others that it's important to pause and reflect upon how much we indeed love ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I love celebrating others, and occasions such as Valentine's Day on which we celebrate not just love but also friendship, are very special to me because I spend them with those I love most. But recently I had this overwhelming feeling of reflection to check my state of self-love or self-respect.

I've always thought of myself as someone who has a high degree of self-confidence. I am kind to myself in that I do not take things personally, I don't dwell in the past, I live in the moment and I am optimistic about the future, and I work very hard at ensuring my health is where it needs to be so I can do more of what I enjoy for a long time. I owe my sense of self-confidence to my parents. They always worked hard at ensuring I grew up with strong morals and values, followed the Golden Rule to treat others as I and they would like to be treated, and practiced humility and kindness on a regular basis. I work every day to impart those things and many others to my family and friends, and extend those to the workplace and in my life in general.

However, sometimes it's easy to get side tracked and forget about loving oneself and we put others before us, work ourselves too much, get little sleep, eat too much of the bad stuff (which is relative for each person), overspend, blame ourselves for things, dwell in the past or on our failures, etc. It's basic human nature and it's perfectly OK to a point and we cannot forget just how important it is to put ourselves first! When I embarked on my health and wellness journey two years ago, I did it because I felt I had reached a low point in my health (letting myself go) so much that if I hadn't started it then, I would not be as healthy today. I made that choice for myself first because I knew my family and friends would benefit from a healthier, happier me. And looking back, that lifestyle and attitudinal change has really helped me in all areas of my life.

So how do you practice self-love or self-respect? Here are some of the ways in which I do this - There are so many and there is so much available out there on this topic (see Mrs. Hay's books for example) that you can take these as a starting point to discover so much more and practice this essential skill in your life to live a fuller, richer and fulfilling existence:

• I strive to do my best - It's all I can do and my best is the one thing that I take with me in any endeavor each and every day. I have a strong feeling of intensity and intentionality in my life and this helps me gain more self-confidence. It also makes me feel happy and I know that I am responsible for being happy first before making others happy. I do what I love. When I do my best, I am taking action which is the one thing that achieves small or big things and brings success.

• I consider myself a good person - This is a statement that I repeat to myself in front of the mirror daily as a way to stay positive and optimistic. While it may have seemed silly to do so at first, doing this has really helped me to be more transparent and candid with myself and has improved my self-talk. I have taken the affirmations a little bit further by reminding myself daily (as much as I can) about my strengths and the unique things I offer to everyone with whom I interact. I also strongly believe that I am imperfect, and my imperfections make me unique and I get to improve on those every day!

• I don't take anything personally - Whatever people do, think, feel or say, they are not saying it because of you. This is so critical to me because it helps me to avoid falling in the trap of feeling important and thinking everything has something to do with me. I also make it a point to remind myself that I am not responsible for others' actions and I am in full control of my reaction to everything that is around me.

• I ask questions for greater clarity - Sometimes I make assumptions about everything and I have found that it's best to ask for clarity than believe that something is true or the way we want it to be - Listening well really helps and doing so consciously to ensure understanding. Self-talk is so important with this because it helps me find where else I may need to look into or learn about to get the answers I need to grow as a person and ultimately feel more self-confident. Asking for help is a strength and accepting help or advice only makes me stronger.

• I am true to myself- I make my best efforts to be realistic and honest about what I can do - This applies to my skills and time for myself and others! I also believe that my opinion is nothing but my own point of view and I stay open to learn new things without judging myself. Lastly, I value myself for who I really am and not who I think or others think I should be. I stick to my values and morals to guide what I do and live with the consequences and on a regular basis, seek alignment between my values and the things around me to ensure I am on track to greater self-confidence, self-love, and self-respect.

Happy Valentine's Day and go and love yourself!